During the week between my son Tyler’s college graduation
from the University of South Carolina and my step-brother’s wedding in St.
Simon’s, Georgia, we had to move Kelsey home from college in Vermont and then my
husband Jay had a birthday. A lot of
planning, airports, driving, carrying an endless supply of dorm necessities
down three flights of stairs, waiting for a cat to give birth, visiting family,
spending money, etc., all within one week bookended by two eventful weekends. I normally plan birthday gifts in advance,
but this time Jay was an after- thought.
When I finally thought to ask, Jay came up with his usual
request. “I really need a white dress
shirt and a tie.” Again? Well, this year
that would be okay with me, given how stretched I was feeling. I asked one more time after returning from
Tyler’s graduation and before our trek to Vermont to move Kelsey. “Well, maybe a new chain saw.” Really?
Now you tell me?
One of my husband’s favorite past times is playing
lumberjack. He loves to split and stack
firewood, always preparing us for the long cold winter by stocking up for the
wood stove which supplements our heat.
The last time he purchased a chain saw was in 1985, a Stihl which still
worked. He wanted another Stihl of
course. I said nothing to indicate that
I was thinking anymore about his birthday, but called Jay’s friend Curt. Curt is my gift advisor for Jay when it comes
to fishing gear and power tools. I know
enough about the stuff to know I know nothing (can we hear it for using the
same word three times in one sentence?)
Since Kelsey and her dorm contents had to be crammed into
our van which drove a total of eight hours on Wednesday, I had only Thursday to
pull this off. Thursday was Jay’s
birthday. Curt and I drove out to the
Stihl dealer to pick up the chain saw he’d selected as the best for Jay.
As we returned, Curt asked me how I was going to give it
him. I mentioned the Lumberjack Song as performed on the Monty
Python Show many years back. Curt gave
me a blank stare so I sang the one verse I remembered, the verse I sang to Jay
when I felt like teasing him about his hobby:
Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees
I wear high heels
Suspenders and a
bra.
I wish I were a
girlie,
Just like my dear
papa.
Curt has a good sense of humor, but having never heard the
song before, I got a look. It was very
similar to the response Kelsey gave me when I told how I was thinking of presenting
the chain saw to Jay, although she added the teenage eye roll at the end. I didn’t care what they thought, my idea
cracked me up and in the end, that’s all that really matters when it comes to
satisfying my warped mind.
That evening, we took Jay out to dinner then came home for
Reeses ice cream cake, joined by Curt.
Kelsey gave Jay a T-shirt which read on the front, “I’m sorry for what I
said when I was hungry.” I gave Jay a
funny card with a piece of paper enclosed which had the following typed on it:
You asked for a shirt
And also a tie
That’s all you wanted
But we know you lie
To get your gift
You’ll have to work
High and low you’ll look
But please don’t twerk
You get three clues
About your present
If you guess right
You get to open it
Your first clue resides
In a special place
Under lock and key
Where you record the fish, rivers and
lakes
Now my doubters, Kelsey
and Curt, perked up. This was going to be fun after all. They didn't know the location in the clue, but Jay certainly did. Jay went right to the armoire
where he keeps his fishing flies, rods, and the fishing journals he’s maintained for
decades. There he found a wrapped present which
revealed the new Vera Wang shoes I intended to wear to the wedding that
weekend. Confusion, but another clue lay
with my pumps.
Oops! Not quite your size
But this is clue Number One
Number Two is where
Number two is done
Easy clue. In the bathroom Jay found a pair of rainbow
suspenders wrapped in tissue paper (purchased from Goodwill that morning). What? Curt started teasing Jay about what he
needed to wear to the next fishing club event.
Next clue:
Clue Number three
The final one
Has keys a plenty
But none you turn
Found in the piano
bench (it wouldn’t fit with the piano keys), wrapped in tissue paper, was one
of my bras and the last clue.
Your three clues…hmmm
Now use your head
If you’re right
It’s in the shed
Jay started to go
outside to the shed. I stopped him. “Solve the riddle. No present until you guess based upon your
clues.”
“Hmm. Shoes, suspenders and bra... Suspenders. Bra. Wait a minute! ” Ding ding ding! “The Lumberjack Song! You got me a chainsaw?”
.JPG)
Great story!
ReplyDelete