Things My Mama Taught Me

On Mother’s Day I celebrate being a mother and having a mother.  Every year, we thank the women who brought us into this world and raised us, influencing us in ways they probably never thought they would.  Child and parent have different memories of those formative years, so I thought I’d make a list of some of the lessons I have taken from the marvelous woman who brought me into this world.

Take care of your teeth as they are the only ones you get

Write thank-you notes after receiving a gift

Wearing sunglasses regularly will prevent premature wrinkles around your eyes caused by squinting

Thank you for not only allowing me to try the bang-trimming method I’d read about in a magazine on you, but for forgiving me when I royally screwed up your hair

Allergies are all in my head (well, technically I guess they are)

A bug in your food is just extra protein and not a big deal

Snakes, mice, spiders and other creatures are fascinating

Learn how to fix basic stuff around the house by yourself

Grow a garden in the summer

If it looks like your outfit doesn’t really match but your mother assures you it blends, don’t wear it

You never truly appreciate how patient, calm and tireless your mother is until you become one yourself

Don’t judge other people; there is good in every one

If you are critical of others a lot, maybe it’s yourself you aren’t happy with

Compared to all the other kids’ moms, mine was always the prettiest (still is)

It’s okay to call out to inanimate objects and ask them where they are hiding

Don’t be afraid to try new things

Love animals

Be stoic and don’t complain

Practice piano, flute, violin, etc. for at least 30 minutes a day

You can’t play until you’ve completed your Saturday morning chores

You should always have a Sunday-go-meeting outfit and loud dress shoes

If you can’t pay attention, then draw during church so you don’t disturb everyone else

Respect adults, but don’t assume they are smarter than you

One month after cancer treatment, go on a Caribbean cruise

Learn how to properly wrap gifts

Never miss the opportunity to make a snow angel

Put your napkin in your lap, don’t chew with your mouth open or sit on your knees at the table

If you’re tired, take a 10-minute nap

You don’t need to know the top 40 songs on the radio as long as you know church hymns and Broadway songs…all the songs from every musical soundtrack we owned memorized, in order, verbatim

If you see a baby locked in a car on a warm day or a man passed out in the park, call the police

Love your children unconditionally

Cuteness is not just a characteristic of short people; a 5-foot, 10-inch tall woman can be adorably cute

Never tire of telling the story of your child’s birth to her and recalling how perfect her little toes were

If your daughter was born 5 days before Christmas, always celebrate separately and wrap the presents in birthday paper

Eat breakfast

Hike to the top of a mountain on your 60^th birthday

If someone prepares a nice meal, it’s “fancy”

If you enjoy your food, hum and make appreciative noises while eating

Never use racist language or swear

If you don’t want to wait until Mom gets out of work to pick you up, either walk or get a ride home from after school sports and activities

Bactine and Pepto Bismal cure all itches and ills; anything else is an evil drug

Don’t get in the water until 30 minutes after eating or you may drown like your great uncle did (I found out later he really drowned because he didn’t know how to swim)

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all

Flatulence means someone has to go to the bathroom, referred to back then as “dirty work”

My brother Paul must have had to go A LOT